San Juan – The people of Puerto Rico are rejoicing in the street as Governor Rico has reinterpreted the laws that haveÂ regulated immigration and work policies inÂ the small Caribbean nation for decades. “I have been informed recently that my interpretation of the laws may have been wrong,” noted the Governor, who has been administrator (Amtmann) ofÂ the island for the past year, “I am working hard to understand the correct meaning of these regulations and how they could have been misunderstood in the first place.
According to inkwaste sources, the Governor’s analysis of theÂ island’s regulationsÂ had initially allowed only a fixed amount ofÂ immigrants to enter the country and work in the cities. Mayor McCheese (NOTE: GET A SOURCE FOR THIS BEFORE WE GO TO PRINT) had alwaysÂ insisted that this policy was short-sighted. “When a new ship full of immigrants comes to port, there never seem to be a proportionate amount of workers for our city buildings,” the mayor noted, “IÂ found myselfÂ unable to provide enough workers to factories and other municipal positions.”
Another point of contention with the Mayor came with Governor Rico’s rigid stance onÂ local workers and their ability to pursue alternative occupations. “Why should they want to change their work?”Â askedÂ Rico, “I don’t want to be anything other than Governor.” With the new rules, whenever an immigrant ship comes to port workers have an opportunity to seek alternative jobs based on availability. “Finally, I can leave my cornfield!” Noted Brauwn Disc, one of the island’s many fieldworkers, “I’d really like to travel to the city. Perhaps work in that small market or coffee roaster.”
Governor Rico has issued an apology to all those affected, and promises to abide by the new interpretation of the rules from now on. All those who think they might be able to govern Puerto Rico better than Governor Rico (yeah, Puerto and IÂ have the same last name) are invited to challenge him anytime.