The Polar Plantation Tract
Every year for his birthday, Lionel pestered his parents to fulfill his greatest desire – to RAISE POLAR bears in their backyard. One day Lionel’s father finally GRANTed that wish. He sold his sauerKRAUT and CRAFT beer restaurant and used the money to buy a large TRACT of land in Antarctica.
-From Wordle Puzzle 6/27/2023
Be Our Guest on Repeat
Sure, it was GREAT the first time, but enough is enough! I’m sick and tired of Lumiere singing “Be Our GUEST” every single night at dinner since we became human again!
-From Wordle Puzzle 6/26/2023
About Those Nuns
It was a strange but GREAT day at the auto PLANT when the workers all decided to wear nun HABITs – they wanted to see what this Catholicism thing was all ABOUT.
-From Wordle Puzzle 6/26/2023
The Rodeo Ain’t No Bull
LATER, just after they ROUSEd me from my slumber, I found myself all ROPED up. Being a bull in the RODEO sucks.
-From Wordle Puzzle 6/24/2023
Terry’s Grand New Toilet
After years of using an outhouse, Terry couldn’t help but STARE at the marvelous DRAIN of his BRAND new toilet. Ain’t progress GRAND?
-From Wordle Puzzle 6/24/2023
A Celestial Love Heist to Covet
A long time ago, in the Fairytale land of Krogeria, there lived a Prince who loved a Princess named Camilla. The Prince thought that Camilla would love him forever – after all, he was handsome, interesting, funny, loyal, brave, and the ruler of a GREAT and beautiful kingdom. What the Prince didn’t understand, however, is that sometimes even the most noble traits and Earthly treasures just aren’t enough.
One day, as the Prince and Camilla were enjoying an evening stroll, there appeared a bright flash of light, and a beautiful woman appeared – it was the Goddess Alexi who had come to engage in a HEIST of the Princess’ heart. Although the Prince issued a royal EDICT that prohibited the two from spending time together, it was no use – Alexi had already given Camilla an engagement ring. They were married and had their honeymoon on a celestial COMET orbiting Alexi’s angelic realm.
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The Prince would always COVET the special relationship that Camilla and Alexi had, but he eventually came to realize that if you truly love someone, sometimes you have to let them go. For although the Prince was handsome and royal, nobody can compete with a goddess.
-From Wordle Puzzle 6/23/2023