Puerto Ricans Rejoice As Governor Rico Reinterprets Laws

San Juan – The people of Puerto Rico are rejoicing in the street as Governor Rico has reinterpreted the laws that have regulated immigration and work policies in the small Caribbean nation for decades. “I have been informed recently that my interpretation of the laws may have been wrong,” noted the Governor, who has been administrator (Amtmann) of the island for the past year, “I am working hard to understand the correct meaning of these regulations and how they could have been misunderstood in the first place.

Puerto Ricans

According to inkwaste sources, the Governor’s analysis of the island’s regulations had initially allowed only a fixed amount of immigrants to enter the country and work in the cities. Mayor McCheese (NOTE: GET A SOURCE FOR THIS BEFORE WE GO TO PRINT) had always insisted that this policy was short-sighted. “When a new ship full of immigrants comes to port, there never seem to be a proportionate amount of workers for our city buildings,” the mayor noted, “I found myself unable to provide enough workers to factories and other municipal positions.”

Another point of contention with the Mayor came with Governor Rico’s rigid stance on local workers and their ability to pursue alternative occupations. “Why should they want to change their work?” asked Rico, “I don’t want to be anything other than Governor.” With the new rules, whenever an immigrant ship comes to port workers have an opportunity to seek alternative jobs based on availability. “Finally, I can leave my cornfield!” Noted Brauwn Disc, one of the island’s many fieldworkers, “I’d really like to travel to the city. Perhaps work in that small market or coffee roaster.”

Governor Rico has issued an apology to all those affected, and promises to abide by the new interpretation of the rules from now on. All those who think they might be able to govern Puerto Rico better than Governor Rico (yeah, Puerto and I have the same last name) are invited to challenge him anytime.

Wall-E Midnight Show on Thursday

Wes and I are going to hit up what promises to be one of Pixar’s best – Wall-E – this Thursday evening at the midnight show. This is one of the movies I’ve been most excited about this summer (the first was Ironman), and I’m so excited that the time has finally come for me to see it. If you’re in Tucson, and you want to come see one of the summer’s best, come up to the Foothills theater on Thursday at midnight and watch it with two of the world’s best movie critics. By the way, did I mention that Wes and I are the only people in the country who really enjoyed The Love Guru? Heh.

I’ve included the latest trailer for your viewing pleasure!

Adios, Rufus

George Carlin

Some Carlin Quotes:

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.

Honesty may be the best policy, but it’s important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.

The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.

When you make a sandwich at home, do you reach down past the first three or four pieces of bread to go down and get ‘the good bread’? It’s kind of a self preservation thing, y’know? What you’re really saying is, “Let my family eat the rotten bread! I’ll take care of Numero Uno!” And down you go into the loaf. Down, looking for the two that you want, a matching pair. And you have to be careful pulling them out so they don’t tear. And then when you get them to the top, the upper eight slices fall the other way. I never straighten them out. I think, screw it, let ’em think a burglar made a sandwich.

POINT – It’s called Frunch becuase it’s “Friends Lunch”

The guys (in Tucson) and I have been seeing each other once a week for the past few months in order to share lunch together and shoot the proverbial shit. We’ve tried some great restaurants, including Guadalajara Grill, Vivace and Brushfire BBQ. We’ve also been subjected to some bad ones – India Oven and the recently defunct Cocina Loca. We’ve had to put up with a bit of nonsense, like Tim never showing up. Or like this email from the Biscuit in response to my decision to hold this week’s Frunch at Sauce instead of his suggested locale:

whatever. I was just throwing it out there as you said you didn’t care and I like to support local business and not throw good money at corporate chain places with generic overpriced food. But whatever.


All in all, I have to admit that we’ve had some good times. For those who work, it’s a nice break in the day. For those who don’t, well, I can’t play Mario Kart Wii all day without eating, can I? Anyway, Frunch rocks. I love the idea, I love the company, I love the food and I even love the name.

Ah, the name.

This brings me to my POINT in this point/counter-point debate (of which there is no official counter-pointer…): Frunch is called Frunch precisely because it is a combination of the two terms “Friends” and “Lunch.” I present as evidence the fact that Frunch has occurred on varying days since its inception. I also contend this due to the fact that we never invite anyone who is not our friend. I further stipulate that Frunch is “Friends Lunch” because “Friday Lunch” sounds totally lame. And we’re not totally lame, are we guys?

I think not.

So today, as we enjoy our special Friend Lunch at Sauce, remember the people who died so that we could have some delicious pizza together. Oh, and when I say people, I mean the great, great animals that we make pepperoni from.

Frunch Dictionary Definition

Eric and Nick in High School – From the Photo Vault

I’m bringing back some old school photos for the enjoyment of my hardcore inkwaste.com fans. Here are two gems from the inkwaste photo vault, for your very much viewing enjoyment.

Nick and Eric

Here is a great photo of me and Nicholas Biscuit trying on some dazzling eyewear courtesy of the storage room in the Mexico house. We’re standing in front of the 8-track cabinet and rainbow clock, ready to grab some cervezas and…well…okay, more like Orange Fanta.

Fiddler on the Roof Nick

This is from a play we did our freshman year in high school, Fiddler on the Roof. Nick played “Russian Soldier #4”, and also helped collect tickets at the beginning of the show. You can’t really see his long blonde hair in this photo, but it sure helped him look menacing even while taking a sip from that tasty Icee.

Check back each week as we delve into the inkwaste photo vault!

Toobin’ Down the Salt River on Saturday

Grab a tube, some beer (I think I’m going to stick with soda or water, actually), and some sunblock – we’re going up to Phoenix this weekend to toob the Salt. It’s been a hectic week at work for me (sarcasm) and I need a little break from all the stress in my life (yeah right) and I get to hang out with my new best friend, Wes (…yep. This one’s true).

Salt River

WuChess Fest AND Toy Story Midway Mania

June 17, 2008 presents quite the conondrum for me. On one hand, I get to play chess against the RZA here in Tucson. On the other hand, Toy Story Midway Mania opens today at Califonia adventure. Now, I am 100% committed to the 9 Queens WuChess Fest here in town already, but that doesn’t mean I won’t be day dreaming about the new attraction at Disney’s California Adventure. Well, that and California Screamin’, Soarin’ over California and the Tower of Terror.

WuChess and Toy Story

Now for the rest of the summer, everytime I start my car with whatever destination I have in mind I’ll be thinking, “should I just drive to Anaheim instead?”

My Top Ten Favorite Board Games (For the Moment)

You know, a lot of people are constantly asking me what my favorite board games are. “Rico,” they say, “you’ve opened our eyes to some of the best board games on the planet, are there any other undiscovered gems we should be playing?” I’m inundated with constant badgering like this, so I’ve decided to compile the ultimate top ten list of all time – my favorite board games – right here on Inkwaste for your reading enjoyment.

#10. Monopoly
One of my favorite games from my childhood, I still contend that I’ve never lost a game to anyone.

#9. Scrabble
A great game, I’ve been playing an online version lately called Scrabulous. If you have facebook, you can play Scrabulous against me…but you better not cheat (looking at you, Gumdrops)! There is a variation of this that I also like to play which uses only the letter tiles. It’s called “Speed Scrabble” – do a google search to get the rules.

#8. Chess
Another game I’ve been playing since I was a kid, and just started getting back into after managing to get myself on the board of directors of a non-profit organization that teaches chess to underprivileged kids.

#7. Caylus: Magna Carta
This is a fun game, though I’ve only played it a few times. It’s a card game based on the board game Caylus, and plays very much the same with a few exceptions to speed it up. Lots of fun.

Ticket to Ride
#6. Ticket to Ride
I call it “The Train Game”, and this one is a blast – especially for families. My parents picked it up right away and we’ve played it many times during family gatherings.

#5. Carcassonne
A tile-laying game that’s as fun as it is intense. Combine the base game with it’s many, many expansions and you have a long night ahead of you jumping for joy with every completed city, road and “CLOISTER!”

Arkham Horror
#4. Arkham Horror
This one pits its players against the board game itself – i.e. everyone is on the same team. If you like games about monsters and dimensional gateways in a neat ‘noir’ style, than this is the game for you.

Duel of Ages
#3. Duel of Ages
What can I say about Duel of Ages? What other board game could you find Beowulf fighting against the Martians fighting against a gang of drunken Mexicans? This game takes almost as long to set up as it does to play, and it supports any number of players on each of the two teams.

Settlers of Catan
#2. The Settlers of Catan
Regarded as one of the greatest board games ever made, Catan has grown to include two expansions, a card game, a dice game and a few online and XBLA versions. Pick this one up and begin your lifelong love affair with great games (and settling an island full of wheat, wool, brick, lumber and ore).

Puerto Rico
#1. Puerto Rico
My all time, number one favorite game of all time. So many options, so many things to consider as you pick from up to 7 roles to play on your turn each round. Build up your city and production fields to create a powerful island of Puerto Rico, shipping or selling your corn, indigo, sugar, tobacco and coffee for profit and prestige.

There you have it, the ultimate top ten list of my favorite board games. If you don’t feel like going out and buying them, just give me a call. I’m only a car ride/flight away.

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