There are a few ideas rattling around in my brain that are so crazy and outlandish that they could only have been planted there by a team of dream infiltrators. A group of rogues, led by someone who I can only assume looks just like Leo DiCaprio, must have drugged me up, connected me to their mind machine and forced me to think these things because they are totally abnormal.
Or are they?
Idea #1: Watching sports is boring. There’s no possible explanation as to why I don’t enjoy watching sports. Right? I mean, with all the die-hard Football, Basketball, Baseball and sometimes Hockey fans in America, I must be wrong. Don’t get me started on the World Cup or Olympics too…it seems as though people are obsessed, and I’ve never been that way. My feeling is, watching a baseball game, live or on TV, is about as exciting as a match of badminton or cricket. It’s pointless, right? I think Timay said it best back in High School during a lacrosse game: “Does it really matter”?
Idea #2: I will enjoy fixing up a foreclosure. Whoever planted this idea into my head (was it you, HGTV?) needs a nut tap. Don’t get me wrong, I love my house and all the decisions I’ve made. Next time, however, I’m going to buy a house that’s new or a recent flip. I’ll paint a few walls, hang my art and call it a day. Better yet…I’ll rent. That is, unless I make a ton of money when I sell it. Then, Inception dudes, I’ll give you all the dreamiest hugs you can imagine.
Idea #3: The Real World is one of the greatest shows on television. Yeah, I said it. I swear, the Inception dudes must have done this one to me. I love The Real World, and I can’t wait to watch each new episode. In fact, I think there’s one on my TiVo right now!
Alright, going to watch some TV. If the Inception guys strike while I’m asleep tonight, hopefully I’ll wake myself up before they get me to start watching the Kardashian show.